@ManJuggs: I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude.
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@mattZillaaaa: I like to flush the toilet a few times when I'm on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
@DaveTheAlbino: There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head.
@edanto_: Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like "You guys don't know her very well"
@Samzen_: All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women.