@StellaRtwot: I like to yawn in front of people so they yawn and then I can say "You're tired I should go."
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@Parkerlawyer: I just passed a beer truck on the highway. "Wait a minute. I'm named after beer?!!?" -My 6 yr old son, Miller
@warne888: When you're at someone's house? Normal people: "What a lovely house!" Me: "What's your wifi password?"
@TheDailySchmuck: First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.