@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
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@Gwinifer: Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops.
@ClassicMegan: If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic.
@Black__Elvis: I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies.