@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tastefactory: I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*
@juliussharpe: You know it's not believable when six people rob a bank in a movie if you've ever tried to organize a dinner for six people.
@danozzi: When brands use cool words like "bae" on social media, I drive straight to their nearest location with all my money, ready to buy products.