@steveolivas: I like twitter because having one-sided conversations with virtually no feedback reminds me a lot of being a parent.
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@noog: People act like weed is the worst thing for short-term memory. Go drink 15 beers and see if you can remember your name or how legs work.
@daplusk: I want to meet someone who enjoys long walks along the beach, so I have enough time to sit at home alone and tweet
@IamEnidColeslaw: HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary.
@thenatewolf: *holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again.