@meaganbb1: I like when I wear my glasses because then I have four-eyes I can roll at your ridiculousness!
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@Reverend_Scott: [Starbucks] Excuse me, this isn't what I ordered. "You ordered a Grande." Yes, but this is Ariana Grande. "Sir, please just take her."
@HenpeckedHal: To the people who tell expectant parents to "stock up on sleep while you can," please know that's not how sleep works.
@ohthatbadger: "Just this one more episode." you said, and all the voices in your head laughed and laughed, and slapped their knees.