@KraftDinerr: I literally never cry, so my body makes up for it by leaking out of different places. My doctor says it's called "peeing" what a dumb idiot.
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@EndhooS: Me: Make sure Jnr. gets straight A's…[slides envelope] Teacher: Is this what I think it is? Me:[nods] You can use it to send letters & stuff
@SgtButtCheeks: My 4yo son just asked what squirrels eat. I answered nuts. We laughed so hard, hugged, and gave each other a high 5. My boy.
@GinRumMe: Don't go chasin' waterfalls. If a waterfall isn't staying in place you probably have bigger things to worry about. Run for your life.