@Gooooats: I live in my parent's basement so I had to dig a deeper basement for my kids to live in. In 20 generations we will reach the Earth's core.
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@msdanifernandez: I can't. I'm busy tonight. I have to do laundry and block everyone who takes their engagement photos in a barn.
@dumbbeezie: If my boss catches me surfing the internet, I make sure I have a screen open to a big box of tampons from Amazon and he leaves me alone
@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
@david8hughes: God: write this down Moses [grabs tablet]: shoot God: thou shalt have no- Moses: slow down, pal. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'