@audipenny: I looked at a shelf once online and now every ad is like "SO YOU LIKE SHELVES??????" and everywhere i go i think a shelf is following me
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out.
@TheMainlandBlog: If I can make even one person laugh on here then I'm not doing my job. The job I actually get paid for.
@hippieswordfish: ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong
@UnFitz: It's called "personal grooming" as though we might get confused and groom a total stranger.