@audipenny: I looked at a shelf once online and now every ad is like "SO YOU LIKE SHELVES??????" and everywhere i go i think a shelf is following me
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@QwertyJones3: "Dog Detective, how can I help you?" MY PERSON THREW THE BALL AND I CAN'T FIND IT "Did you check his hand?" NO HE THREW IT ALR... oh wait
@laurenreeves: My friend showed me her new vegan pants. I know vegans can be annoying and everything, but should we really be making pants out of them?
@DanMentos: I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool "This is my 24th winter" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart