@weinerdog4life: I lost my thumb in a serious movie rating accident.
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@onelongbender: When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?
@juliussharpe: The ending of "Romeo and Juliet" is only sad if you think two fourteen year-olds should have gotten married.
@Neuronicism: If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong.