@TawaNicolas: I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me.
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@PieChord: Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons. I won't try religion for bacon reasons.
@PaulyPeligroso: You can't die, man! Not right now. Not on my watch! *lifts dead body and pulls watch put from under it*
@BBQJones28: Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week.
@ceejoyner: Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent's face there is no known comeback.