@Brianhopecomedy: I lost the birth video of my son so I'm at the labour ward hoping to recreate it. I'll just zoom in close so my wife won't be able to tell.
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@trevso_electric: It's summer. We're young. Let's sneak into someone else's pool and skinnydip. If we get caught, we stab them and assume their identities.
@oothikicha: Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*.
@Brampersandon_: Loan me a couple bucks? "Sure" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? "..." Can I even pay with these?
@Shock_Monster: Him: Boo! Me: Did you just call me your Boo? Him: I was scaring you! Me: Mission accomplished. *backs away*