@peteholmez: "I love all quilts, regardless of quality." - blanket statement
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@TeaAndCopy: [Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1…2… Sir, what are you– 3…4…I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*
@Overdue_Bills: She was like "wrong hole", so I said "adventurous on the e-harmony profile isn't knitting quilts Velma", long story short I'm still single.
@Sickayduh: "I'm going to the post office. I need a place stamp" Wtf is that? "I dunno but this envelope says I need one here"