@1followernodad: I love babies cause they just cry upon waking up and it's so honest
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@sock_holliday: 'Winter Wonderland' is my favourite song about building a snowman that you will potentially have sex with later
@TheBoydP: Get ahead at the office by taking work home with you over the weekend. No need to work on it just make sure people see you take it home...
@Rich_McCarthy: Check for bed bugs by yelling "Gee, I'm so happy there are no bed bugs here!", and if you hear faint giggling, set the bed on fire.