@MelissaJoy33: I love being a mom. I just left the vacuum running in front of my teenagers door until he woke up. Should have done what I asked, lil shit!
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@SteveKoehler22: Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?
@LLBadge: My GPS just did a shoulder shrug and said, "uhm, take a left here?" This can't be good.
@panmidwest: [roadtrip] ME: I need a bathroom break FRIEND: no stops for 2 hours, use that Gatorade bottle ME: um…ok...now how am I supposed to wipe?
@EliBraden: No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then