@DionneMcNutt: I love children, especially when they cry and someone takes them away.
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@TheMichaelRock: How about we don't pick a president this time and everyone promises to behave themselves.
@Paxochka: People who say "life doesn't come with a set of instructions" obviously haven't heard of the Kama Sutra.
@ChrisScarlette: "just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse" -A dinosaur, 66 million years ago
@ManvAlcohol: What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.