@robdelaney: I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, "people."
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@Boo_berries_: Kidnapper: Pay up or I'll leak your nudes Me: So what? K: Then I'll tweet your drafts M: Ok don't do anything crazy we can work this out
@Madrass_badsass: I don't friendzone people. I relationshipzone them. Want to be friends? Too bad we are dating.
@TheToddWilliams: [lumberjack interview] BOSS: I'm gonna "axe" you a few questions. Haha do you get it? ME: Yeah I "saw" that coming BOSS: Ooo welcome aboard!