@robdelaney: I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, "people."
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@Marlinaire: Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $1.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
@AbrasiveGhost: INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put "has dominion over bees"? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off
@eliserose5: If you are older than 17 and have mad love for Justin Bieber ,you are the reason whales are the most intelligent species.
@EliTerry: I USED VOLUME MAXIMIZING SHAMPOO THIS MORNING SO YES I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE OFFICER