@DurtMcHurtt: I love giving a little kid the tongue, and then watching him run to his mother holding the severed tongue I just gave him.
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@Nickadoo: I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Jesus on the cross] *texts with 1 hand* "um dad y hav u 4saken me wtf" *5 hrs pass* "new phone. who dis?"
@UncleDuke1969: When I have a tough decision, I ask myself... "What would Jesus do?" Then, I remember how things turned out for him... And, flip a coin.