@topaz_kell: I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down.
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@walks_on_legs: Throwing burgers around furniture because I have a hunch that termites only eat wood because they have not tried anything tastier.
@SexyInsomniac: I just ran into my friend Sue. She introduced me to her second husband. I said "I wouldn't have picked him first either."
@Spaced_Cowboy00: I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.