@sixthformpoet: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: doctor: "how much exercise do you do per week?" me: "um.. does sex count? doctor: "yes" me: "absolutely none"
@Laser_Cat: The guy who invented doors must have been a big hero to the thousands of people standing around outside their homes.
@Rollmaninoz: *coworker drinks coffee I made them* Me: I poisoned your coffee… Coworker: WHAT? Me:…with love! Coworker: oh haha me: The love for murder
@E_lok44: If a little light yodeling doesn't solve all your problems, then I don't know what to tell yoooo-dooleeOoou.