@QuotingJokes: I love how the Ninja Turtles wear masks to hide their identity. It's not like you're a giant turtle or anything.
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@dafloydsta: [creating squirrels] GOD: How about a nice bushy tail? ANGEL: Perfect. GOD: Now give it some cocaine, lmao. ANGEL: Wtf.
@LuvPug: "So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another" -How I Met Your Stepmother