@WonderMonkey78: I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UncleBob56: Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote.
@AndyAsAdjective: Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" SO I'M GONNA BRING IT! *brings lunch to work*
@KyleMcDowell86: [on date] *okay don't let her know you're a T-Rex* Her: Can you pass the salt please? Me: Crap...
@MavenofHonor: *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring