@WonderMonkey78: I love it when all my iPhone apps tremble in fear when I'm about to delete one of them. Makes me feel like God.
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@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard
@funnybeachgirl: Energizing breakfast smoothie: 1. 2 cups chopped kale 2. 1 ripe banana 3. 1/8 tsp flax oil 4. 1/2 cup coconut water 5. 3 grams of cocaine
@samalmightysam: The Gym is like Church. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they'll erase what they did during the week.