@mattZillaaaa: I love it when I see an old friend I haven't seen in years and pretend to not see them
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@behindyourback: 11:30pm is the time each night when I ask myself the ancient question of the universe: what if I just ate everything
@HorryPuttor: deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim.
@Stellacopter: If you wrap yourself up in a blanket, you can show up to work late and say you were just rescued by the Coast Guard.