@TheCatWhisprer: I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season.
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@ArfMeasures: [Starbucks] ME: [bursts in] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT LARGE BARISTA: [shrugs] ME: [sigh] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT VENTI B: *grande screaming noises*
@NotthatAdamWest: I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'm keeping a greater distance behind this truck with a vanity plate that reads "IMTEXAN" than I do behind cars with "Baby on board" signs.