@GrowlyGrego: *knocks on door*
You're too fat.
"Wha--"
You're way too dumb.
"Wait--who.."
Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one.
@RonnieLauth: Overheard at a museum cafe:
“What kind of coffee do you have?”
“Uh. Just the kind they give us to brew.”
“Well is it Kenyan? Ethiopian?”
“Sir. It’s just coffee. Either buy it or don’t.”
I love New Yorkers.
@shariv67: We only use 10% of our brains because the other 90% is busy regretting saying "You too!" to a waiter after he said "Enjoy your meal."
@zachreinert03: One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious
@Abby__Rose: I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen.
COMMENTS