@Norsebysw: Somewhere on a windy pasture under this moon there's a barbed wire fence I left more of myself on than I realized.

@IGotsSmarts: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE BEING TURNED INTO GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES RIGHT NOW!

@DarlingNikki_12: Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first.

@Danny_McH2O: I met a girl that told me, "Make me laugh and I'm yours". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :(

@BiIIMurray: I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.