@RummyLauded: Ten: Number of fingers children have.
Twenty-six: Number of fingers children have when you try to put gloves on them.
@tastefactory: JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses?
HE-MAN: Well, I-
*job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*
@Donna_McCoy: *my casket slowly begins lowering into the ground*
me, knocking from inside: "Wait, I have to pee."
@ariscott: Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.
@khatragirl: I finally got eight hours sleep. Took me four days but whatever.
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