@caliraingirl: I love the smell of fabric softener through the outside vents when people do the laundry. I get a lot of restraining orders though.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Cryptoterra: someone is getting married down the street from me and their wedding geofilter works at my house
@jwoodham: If someone approaches you and offers you a Black Eyed Peas album, remain calm. You have just encountered a member of the Black Eyed Peas.
@bingowings14: [creating the Octopus] Angel: How about a spider in a wetsuit? God: Weird but I like it. Make it edible.
@dadamantium: Me: Daughters, dude. Driving me crazy, you know? Him: Yeah. Me: Want another juice box, bro? Him: Yeah. 3 year-old neighbor boy gets me.