@grammar_c**t: "I love you" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to "I got this round."
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@FattMernandez: I hope Prince Harry and Emma Watson last because if they have a son, it will be the half-blood prince.
@SamGrittner: I celebrate International Women's Day by visiting my local CVS and torching all their 'JUST FOR MEN' products while screaming: "NOT TODAY!"
@meatlobes: *waits for you to fall asleep* *rolls out from under your bed* *moisturizes your knees and elbows*