@williamwanton: I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of
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@Humor_Fetish: Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
@mompsychologist: I've never been on Jeopardy, but I have put a 4yo to bed, so I know what it's like to be asked about things you never even heard of.
@specialsquid: "Hi, my name is Gary and I'm a shopaholic, my favorite place to shop is the alcohol store."
@tanialunreal: Thank goodness I'm loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can't blame it on the alcohol.