@williamwanton: I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of
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@InnocentMarina6: You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies..
@notfaizzy: Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you.
@TribalSpaceCat: Me: Do you have any wrongdog? "Ugh fine what's wrongdog" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible
@KrangTNelson: JERRY SEINFELD: so what's the *deal* with airplane food ME (whispering to my date): it's actually called "jetfuel"