@ColesTwitt3r: i made a craigslist ad !
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@chagger73: It took me 4 attempts to type "my dignity". Autocorrect kept changing it to "HAHAHAHAHAHA"
@Twitmytweeties: 1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball.
@iAmDelFreaky: 2: Where mommy? Me: Mommy's at a meeting. 2: Mommy is meat? Me: No. Well...yes, but only if we ever get stranded on an island. 2: Ok.
@seamusmckracken: One day my dad was outside watching a thunder and lightning storm and my mom brought him a metal chair to sit in. A love story