@Not_Uncle_Hoot: I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the neighbors.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sassafrantz: Do you, Charles Manson, take this woman who is clearly more insane than you to be your lawful wedded wife?
@LaziestCanine: [uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you're worthless and nobody likes you
@mattr_in_nc: Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?