@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@samlymatters: If your coffee shop has a passive aggressive "no wifi pretend it's the old days" sign I'm gonna smoke in there & pay 50 cents for coffee.
@TheAlexP: Forgot to turn on the grill, burgers been on there for half an hour, I know cause the tv show I like's over & nothing's on fire.
@jaimekessel: Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding