@ItsAndyRyan: I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral.
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@kirbys4losers: Maybe I can bury my burned out vibrators in the Pet Sematary and they'll come back to life with a vengeance.
@lolajxx: Anyone who has to spend more than 2 mins at an ATM is obvilously sending a text to Optimus Prime
@sageboggs: Oh really, Carol? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take you to mind your own business
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Please wait to eat your Craisins until we're in the car *5 secs later Me: What're you eating? 5yo: *Mouthful of Craisins* ......Nothing