@ItsAndyRyan: I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral.
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@PaperWash: McConaughey: I'll have a venti with cream please Starbucks barista: ok, how do you spell your last name? McConaughey: I don't know
@Gooooats: That will be $6.34, and would you like to donate a dollar to the children's hospital or do you prefer being judged by a Taco Bell employee?
@TheCatWhisprer: You know you're getting fat when you make a comment about needing to lose weight and the other person doesn't say anything back.