@PinkCamoTO: I miss the 80s, when you could hide an alien in your room for 3 days before mom found out and five kids on bikes could outsmart the police.
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@NervousJr: Based on how many times I've dropped my phone, I'm gonna hold off on the whole baby thing.
@akatinamarie: I can't tell if the vegans upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
@dumbbeezie: Thank you to all the people who tweet landscape pictures so we don't forget what it looks like outside
@Smartassylassy: I've just accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles... My next shit could spell disaster!