@badbanana: I miss the days when you could talk about a brand and they didn't talk back.
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@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
@weismanjake: If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime" just say "I'm ready to hang out right now" and watch them panic
@UNTRESOR: You should always read labels. I was about to eat this rat poison but then saw it has gluten in it. I could have died,