@badbanana: I miss the days when you could talk about a brand and they didn't talk back.
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@Cheeseboy22: My wife told me we need a new bathroom scale a week ago, but today she let me know that it wasn't something she wanted for Valentine's Day.
@Douchekevin: I eat the free samples at Costco for lunch every day. I'm adding 'enjoys eating out' to my dating profile.
@ThisHotGarbage: If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.