@longwall26: I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
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@TheMichaelRock: I bet the murder rate is so low in Canada because you have to go 300 miles to find someone to kill.
@hamersauce: PROSECUTOR: you chipped a golf ball down a clowns throat ME: i honestly thought that was part of the course
@matt_travelling: So is Walmart a verb now? As in, "I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."
@panmidwest: ANGEL: the humans need a model for how they should treat you… GOD: [creates dog] ANGEL: …and for how they actually do GOD: [creates cat]