@AbbyHasIssues: I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.
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@Mikecanrant: Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
@EyeSeeYou619: [first date] HIM: So how was your OMG did you just pull a hot sauce packet out of your bra