If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@ndiquote: I missed you with all my darts
@dafloydsta: Doc: I'm afraid you got 6 months to live
Me: Why are YOU afraid?
Doc: I'm not
Me: You said you were
Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW?
@AndyAsAdjective: [at oceanside seafood restaurant]
Me: Is the fish fresh here?
*from the kitchen, a fish blows me a kiss & waves seductively*
@SwoonTwang: Why would a needle even be in a haystack? Who sews in a barn?
@JimmerThatisAll: If money can't buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
@AdamBroud: Wife: Whatchya thinking about?
Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff.