@Contwixt: "I need a timing belt & power steering for my life" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet.
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@EdgarAllanLo: [Wendy and the Burger King having sex] King: You like this? Wendy: I'm loving it! *the Burger King stops* King: What did you just say?
@MattMcC1: YOU CAN'T BUY HOT POCKETS YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS YOU ARE EXPECTED SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF DONT BELIEVE THE LIES.
@DrRocktopoid: My high-school wrestling coach called me "the little raccoon" 'cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and carried Lyme disease.
@PyrBliss: The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that's not a risk I'm willing to take.