@Contwixt: "I need a timing belt & power steering for my life" I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet.
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@iNusku: I had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed.
@unravelingfire: Is it weird to think about mac and cheese during sex? Ma'am, I just tear the movie tickets. But yes, it's weird.
@albz: I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like "Ugh, tourists".
@ArfMeasures: ME: One time I was attacked by a shark REPORTER: Wow! [turns on recorder] tell us what it was like ME [leans in to mic] A massive fish