@jimmy_sharpe: I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
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@BruceForce: Thought it would be romantic to serenade this girl with some Elvis. I swear that's the last time I sing "You ain't nothin but a hound dog"
@TheRobCee: Caesar salads are prepared differently than garden salads...Notably, the head of lettuce is first attacked by 40-50 knife-wielding senators.
@IntrepidDeviant: *Arrives at ticket stall with my girl* Me: Two tickets to the movie please. Attendant: For The Hobbit? Me: No, that's my girlfriend.