@BobTheSuit: I need some sun. My legs are so white they just drove to Whole Foods in their Prius.
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@aparnapkin: Sometimes my stomach will make a noise and my brain will be like ok I never signed off on that
@jergarl: Jocelyn from Facebook will unfriend you if you give her a Blockbuster gift card for her stupid baby shower. I know that now.
@kathybotteas: If the emoji I wanna text is not in the "recently used," you may have to wait 3 days till I find it.