@BobTheSuit: I need some sun. My legs are so white they just drove to Whole Foods in their Prius.
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@AnOrangeSNES: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, the pH level of a pineapple can not sustain life.
@KalvinMacleod: Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: Of course W: Oh yeah, what did I say? M: [smoke bomb] W: I can still see you M: [Another smoke bomb]
@leannuh_renay: According to the Chinese zodiac, it’s the year of the dog, or “who’s a good year?!”
@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank