@UnFitz: I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
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@joejwest: ME: [bumps man] MAN: [spills coffee] Say sorry ME: No MAN: Then I'll see you in court ME: [remembers I own a camouflage suit] You won't
@BillMc7: listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk
@MrBob_52: First week of my diet I gained 3 pounds. However, I found out if I stand further away from the mirror I look thinner.