@PaulyPeligroso: I never get invited to search parties.
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@djangogold: if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night
@lildandeli0n: I'm pretty sure Kanye West is the reason why we arent allowed to retweet our own tweets.
@J_Dazzle76: If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do.
@MickSnark: Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.