@OneFunnyMummy: I never got in trouble when I was young. Guess I'm making up for that now.
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@notalogin: Get your faces tattooed on each other, so if the wife ever says 'you're a joke' you can say 'the joke's on you' and disarm the situation.
@Tups13: When people tell me to get my act together I have to explain that this is not an act, I really am this incompetent.