@StellaRtwot: I never make my guests take their shoes off at the door because it takes them longer to get out when I want them to leave.
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@murrman5: I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*
@SuperApple8: Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop.
@Sickayduh: MOM: You give that back to him, mister ME: Ok mom MOM: and what do we say now? ME: *climbing off unicycle* sorry I tried to steal your girl