@Snarfernini: I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking.
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@murrman5: [shows up late for first day of new job] *blames it on rush hour* [shows up late for second day of new job] *blames it on rush hour 2*
@slimmy_shady: Never eat ice cream while chatting online. Sister: why are you typing so slowly Me: well my other hands busy. She hasnt replied yet.
@Gre_Gone: Interviewer: Any special skills? Me: Eclairvoyance. Him: I don't understand. Me: There's a box of donuts in your desk Him: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH
@JT_IV_: If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you.