@The_Mentalyst: I never understand women. One minute they love guys who play the guitar, one minute they are chasing me out of the women's restroom.
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@salamingia: My wife said I'm picky. I said obviously not picky enough. Anyone need a roommate tonight?
@michaelianblack: When Pink Floyd sings, "just another brick in the wall," it's a little bit demeaning to bricks.
@WildeThingy: I used to think alcohol silenced the voices in my head until I realised it had just moved them to my mouth.