@atanenhaus: I NEVER WORE EARPLUGS TO CONCERTS WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I TURNED OUT FINE!
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@dave_cactus: ME: I quit texting and driving after the accident. HER: Were you hurt? [flashback to 12 hot dogs rolling off the dashboard] ME: So hurt.
@ElizaBayne: Just saw a dolphin with a tattoo of a college girl struggling for individuality and freedom from her middle class parents
@Beerhaze: My oldest is 14 today. Daddy's baby is growing up. Soon she'll start looking for boyfriends and find them all dead under the floor boards.