@atanenhaus: I NEVER WORE EARPLUGS TO CONCERTS WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND I TURNED OUT FINE!
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@U_Want_Shum_M8: Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry! ME: Don't you mean history? R: Don't change the subject! *Both start laughing
@MaraWilson: ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that. DAD: So you're still single
@amydillon: [sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] "Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."