@jackiembouvier: [First date]
Me: So, I've been married for 12 years -
Him: You're married??
Me: Is that a problem?
@semple42: Don't think I won't spin around and French kiss you if you're standing too close to me in line at the liquor store.
@timdonakowski: Me: Hey, do you want to go buy some-
Wife: YES!
@JenAshleyWright: Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that's your ghost outfit forever.
@: You gotta Snapchat, dm, and text your girl all @ the same time. That way if you piss her off in 1 convo, you still have two lives left.
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