@SpencerLenox: I offered Kinkos $5 for this... they said no.
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@novicefather: [glances toward living room stenographer] "Please read back what my wife said 45 seconds ago." stenographer: I promise not to get mad
@Wine_Honey1: People tell you to make yourself at home but then look confused when you drink their liquor and take a nap in the kitchen
@_ParkerH: Moms during December: Me: “Mom I need more toothpaste” Mom: “Okay but it’s going to be part of your Christmas presents”