@SpencerLenox: I offered Kinkos $5 for this... they said no.
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@Underchilde: Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
@animaldrumss: Jesus: Those were the times when I carried you son Me: And when the vending machine ate my dollar? Jesus: That time you bought me a Snickers
@BuckyIsotope: OLD MAN: I fought in WWII ME: Oh yeah? What was your kill:death ratio OLD MAN: what ME: Can you rocket jump? OLD MAN: I wish Hitler had won
@Jesusontwittorr: To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later