@SpencerLenox: I offered Kinkos $5 for this... they said no.
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@iwearaonesie: *makes sure kids are asleep* *walks out to car* *slowly unwraps candy bar* *hears knock on window* *puts head down* *hands it to them*
@GrumpyBahr: Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there.
@shatterpants: I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.
@LittleLostLad: Imagine if America cut open the Statue of Liberty and found skeletons inside and it turned out the French had just failed a trojan mission.