@misfarber: I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I'm being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I'm talking about
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@Jeffwni: [job interview] Interviewer: It says here that you are a blowfish. Would you care to expand?
@jdforshort: Green smoothies because who has the time or energy to chew 17 cups of spinach/lettuce/kale
@T_N_Crumpets: *Bruno Mars on the radio* Wife: Would you catch a grenade for me? Brain: Just say, YES! Me: Has the pin been pulled? Brain: Idiot!
@EliseRose5: Mom wants me to have a baby girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.And I want a sane mother who isn't oblivious to my Italian bloodline.